Why I Moved to Hawaii (Part II)

When the word Hawaii entered my awareness, I knew in my gut I had to go.

There was no question of anything else. It was like a force bigger than myself. It felt like this deep sense of peace and knowing that this was what I had to do.

Normally, I agonize over decision making, asking literally everyone else for advice. Not this. There was this feeling that as long as I made the arrangements to get here, everything else would be taken care of.

I was moving to Hawaii.

Now, I just had to tell family, friends, work, and roommates, and start tying up the loose ends of my life in Nashville.

Just a few things!

With the sharing of my news, the influx of other people’s opinions, my fear, and research, I decided I would wait until I arrived in Hawaii to make the decision whether I stay or not. A few folks said to me, “Hawaii tells you if you can stay, or she tells you if you need to go.” I started questioning my decision. What if Hawaii told me I had to go?

Fast forward to May 23. I was on the bus back to Kapa’a after spending an amazing weekend in Hanalei Bay and Princeville. That morning I had hiked to a secret beach and lounged on the sand and swam in ocean cliff tide pools. I thought about staying or leaving. What exactly would I do if I went back? I had left my job and my apartment in Nashville. If I went back to the mainland, I’d have to start over there, too.

I closed my eyes and felt the breeze in my hair as I listened to the island music the bus driver was playing. I thought about the different shades of blue of the ocean, the secret waterfalls I’d stumbled upon, and the easy waves of Hanalei Bay. I thought about how good I’d felt since being here. I wanted to stay. I opened up the Notes app and typed into my phone: I am moving to Kauai.

I arrived at the Kauai Beach Hostel that Sunday and decided I would spend the week figuring out if I could actually move to the island. I mulled (read: agonized) over this decision the next few days. I was looking for a car and thinking seriously about how exactly I would be able to make this work. It was hard finding a car, and I was getting stressed out. I was still waiting on some sort of big “sign” that told me I could stay.

The following Thursday I went to the beach and journaled and swam all day. Trying to find clarity. I walked back along the bike path and up on cliffs overlooking the ocean. I sat down, looked at the view, and started crying.

I opened up my voice notes app to record my thoughts, and started crying even more. I had forgotten that I had over 20 recordings of me doing Gala Darling’s Magical Morning practice and recording my manifestation voice notes every day. (SIDE NOTE: Follow @galadarling on Instagram. She has changed ma life). I had 20+ voice notes of me AFFIRMING “I live in Hawaii, I feel amazing, everything is flowing to me. I’m abundant.”

And here I was. It was a long road to get here, but I had made it.

I spoke into my voice notes app this time, venting. Talking. Speaking to heal.

Through tears, looking out over the ocean I said “I don’t want to go back. I want to go back to see everybody… but, it just feels like I need to stay.”

“What do I want? I want this. I want freedom. And freedom is what all of us deserve. If you don’t have freedom — what is the point of being alive? I choose to feel free. I choose to be free. This is what I’ve been missing. I love Nashville, but it’s not that beautiful. This is stunning, and I love it. With the waves and the lush jungle-like cliffs. I need to stay here. And I think I’m crying because I’m scared. I am so scared. I mean, I guess I could go back but… why? I could go back for my family. I think it’s important for me to be close to family, but I need to have my own life too.”

The next morning, I woke up and meditated by the ocean.

I told the universe I had decided: I’m staying.

I opened up my notes app and typed:

Universe, Kauai, Hawaii 🙏

I have an amazing, affordable, CLEAN, light and bright and preferably new space to live and love in for the month of June.

[price range]

CLEAN, LIGHT AND BRIGHT

Beautiful outdoor space.

And I have an amazing car!

I prayed and said thank you to the island. I went about my day.

At 5 pm I opened Facebook to the Kauai housing group. At that exact moment, a girl posted an ad for a room on the North Shore, in my price range. Light, bright space. Huge outdoor lanai overlooking the mountains. Private bathroom.

I messaged her immediately and she FaceTimed me to show me the house. It was gorgeous. I put a deposit down that night and made plans to move in four days later.

I went into the hostel and told everyone about my exciting news.

The manager said “wow, there are people that have been here for months and still haven’t found a place. The island wants you here.”

It looks like Hawaii has told me to stay.

✌️

Thank you for reading, my loves! Stay tuned for more stories coming soon.

Blue skies always,

Lauren